I suddenly started to feel pretty different following my diagnosis. The damn thing wasn’t going away, there was no magic pill, there was no new operation that I would suddenly be able to have. I was feeling mortal for the first time in my life. I felt vulnerable and very conscious of what might happen in the future. This got me thinking about work and what it must feel like to suddenly not have to go to work one day due to retirement either forced or voluntary. You see, I still am hoping to try and go back to work.
I then suddenly remembered a conversation I had had with a member ( I now class him as a good friend) about this particular subject. He had worked all his life on the tools and into management and supervisory roles, finishing back on the tools for himself. However, he said suddenly one morning he woke and it felt like he had lost all purpose. He said even though he had a beautiful family and supportive wife he couldn’t get this numb feeling to go. As the days went by it got worse and worse and he suddenly realised, with a little help from his wife telling him to sort himself out, that he was actually starting to take things out on the ones he loved the most. Despite him being given a number of home DIY jobs and him trying to organise his garden shed for the 100th time he still had this ‘Self-worth’ issue. What was he all about? What was he doing? Was it that now he simply counted the days?
Now I wouldn’t have realised this unless I had taken the time to listen to him and I think telling me the story made it easier for him to start to get some reflection and also to hear what and how other people had tackled a